The EU Commission has recently announced that to date Belgium has failed to transpose the Single Permit Directive (Directive 2011/98/EU) into its national law. Hence, the EU Commission referred Belgium to the EU Court of Justice in order to address the lack of progress in transposing this Directive.
Wednesday, December 30, 2015
Belgium Lags Behind in Implementing the Single Permit Directive
By CSB Advocates - Swatar, Malta
The EU Commission has recently announced that to date Belgium has failed to transpose the Single Permit Directive (Directive 2011/98/EU) into its national law. Hence, the EU Commission referred Belgium to the EU Court of Justice in order to address the lack of progress in transposing this Directive.
The EU Commission has recently announced that to date Belgium has failed to transpose the Single Permit Directive (Directive 2011/98/EU) into its national law. Hence, the EU Commission referred Belgium to the EU Court of Justice in order to address the lack of progress in transposing this Directive.
How to Keep Your Job While Going Through a Divorce
"They're going to fire meeeeeee," my friend Mindy sobbed into the phone, so loud I had to pull it away from my ear to avoid going deaf.
"It's going to be okay," I assured her. Mindy had always been a strong lawyer with a good reputation.
"No, it's not!" she screeched. "My boss pulled me aside today as I was leaving..." she paused to blow her nose and take a shuddering breath, "and he told me that I needed to 'pull it together' or take some time off."
I sighed. I knew Mindy was going through a custody battle akin to World War II. "Min, what are you doing that your boss would say that?"
She sighed and blew her nose again. "I cried at my desk yesterday," she admitted. "And then, in a meeting... I didn't have my part of the presentation done. I've been late to work. I've... oh God a whole bunch of things. Look, I know you had a rough divorce and you... managed to keep it together." She hiccupped and sighed. "I need to know how you did it."
And here's what I told her:
One. Compartmentalize your life. When going through my divorce, my planner was my best friend. You can keep it in your phone, use your PC or (like me), do it the old-fashioned way and use one with actual paper. Either way, everything (yes, I mean that) got scheduled. Make dinner for tomorrow. Pick up kids from school. Prepare for Tuesday's meeting. Call the dentist. And of course, my favorite -- LMS. You can look at that planner and LMS was given a specific time every day. LMS specifically meant Losing My S**t. Which translated into crying, screaming in my car (yeah, I did it), cursing about my ex on the phone with my mother... anything that I needed to do that may have seemed irrational or completely off the hook if done at any other time. Most importantly, LMS cannot be done while at work. In the car on the drive home, in your kitchen while cooking dinner or even in bed after kids are asleep. But never, ever at the office. You may argue that you can't control when you lose it. But believe me, knowing you have a specific time that you can (and should) lose it actually helps. "I won't think about the papers Tom served on me now. I'll think about it at 6." File it away. Compartmentalize that because otherwise, it will take over every moment of your life.
Two. Be honest, but realistic. When I filed for divorce, I had a frank conversation with my boss about what was going on. When you chat with your supervisor, be realistic about the changes you're facing; whether those are time constraints or full schedule conflicts. If you foresee serious problems, ask if there is anyway for you to have a few hours extra one day a week, try to negotiate an earlier (or later) workday, an alternate schedule or simply see how much leeway you are going to have going through this period in your life. Smiling and telling everyone that you're "just fine," and it's business as usual might find you late at night still working at your desk, sobbing as you eat Nutella out of the jar while trying to finish a report. Not a pretty picture. If you don't have any leeway with your hours, then you will really need to...
Three. Enlist an army of support. If you now have to pick up kids from school at 3:30 p.m. and your workday doesn't end until 5:00 p.m., then you need to circle the wagons and rally the troops. Find other moms you know to help out, even if it's one day a week each. If you have family, ask them to lend a hand until you can work out something more permanent. If your kids need help with homework and you failed math, find out if there is after school student tutoring in the library. I used to work on spreadsheets as my kids got tutored in Science. Anything you can ask for help -- do it. Even if it's your mom who cooks dinner for you once a week; one less thing you have to do will help you keep your sanity.
You can make it through this difficult time without losing your mind -- or your job. And one day, one of your friends at work may stop by your desk and tearfully ask how you "kept it together." You can smile knowingly, pat her hand, and open your planner.
"It's going to be okay," I assured her. Mindy had always been a strong lawyer with a good reputation.
"No, it's not!" she screeched. "My boss pulled me aside today as I was leaving..." she paused to blow her nose and take a shuddering breath, "and he told me that I needed to 'pull it together' or take some time off."
I sighed. I knew Mindy was going through a custody battle akin to World War II. "Min, what are you doing that your boss would say that?"
She sighed and blew her nose again. "I cried at my desk yesterday," she admitted. "And then, in a meeting... I didn't have my part of the presentation done. I've been late to work. I've... oh God a whole bunch of things. Look, I know you had a rough divorce and you... managed to keep it together." She hiccupped and sighed. "I need to know how you did it."
And here's what I told her:
One. Compartmentalize your life. When going through my divorce, my planner was my best friend. You can keep it in your phone, use your PC or (like me), do it the old-fashioned way and use one with actual paper. Either way, everything (yes, I mean that) got scheduled. Make dinner for tomorrow. Pick up kids from school. Prepare for Tuesday's meeting. Call the dentist. And of course, my favorite -- LMS. You can look at that planner and LMS was given a specific time every day. LMS specifically meant Losing My S**t. Which translated into crying, screaming in my car (yeah, I did it), cursing about my ex on the phone with my mother... anything that I needed to do that may have seemed irrational or completely off the hook if done at any other time. Most importantly, LMS cannot be done while at work. In the car on the drive home, in your kitchen while cooking dinner or even in bed after kids are asleep. But never, ever at the office. You may argue that you can't control when you lose it. But believe me, knowing you have a specific time that you can (and should) lose it actually helps. "I won't think about the papers Tom served on me now. I'll think about it at 6." File it away. Compartmentalize that because otherwise, it will take over every moment of your life.
Two. Be honest, but realistic. When I filed for divorce, I had a frank conversation with my boss about what was going on. When you chat with your supervisor, be realistic about the changes you're facing; whether those are time constraints or full schedule conflicts. If you foresee serious problems, ask if there is anyway for you to have a few hours extra one day a week, try to negotiate an earlier (or later) workday, an alternate schedule or simply see how much leeway you are going to have going through this period in your life. Smiling and telling everyone that you're "just fine," and it's business as usual might find you late at night still working at your desk, sobbing as you eat Nutella out of the jar while trying to finish a report. Not a pretty picture. If you don't have any leeway with your hours, then you will really need to...
Three. Enlist an army of support. If you now have to pick up kids from school at 3:30 p.m. and your workday doesn't end until 5:00 p.m., then you need to circle the wagons and rally the troops. Find other moms you know to help out, even if it's one day a week each. If you have family, ask them to lend a hand until you can work out something more permanent. If your kids need help with homework and you failed math, find out if there is after school student tutoring in the library. I used to work on spreadsheets as my kids got tutored in Science. Anything you can ask for help -- do it. Even if it's your mom who cooks dinner for you once a week; one less thing you have to do will help you keep your sanity.
You can make it through this difficult time without losing your mind -- or your job. And one day, one of your friends at work may stop by your desk and tearfully ask how you "kept it together." You can smile knowingly, pat her hand, and open your planner.
-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.
Saturday, December 19, 2015
Access to Genetic Resources and Sustainable Utilization in Colombia
By B&R Latin America IP LLC - Bogota, Colombia
When we think about the economic development of Colombia we have to consider the importance of the biological diversity that this country has and the need to manage it in a sustainable and balanced way in the light of the needs of today's world.
When we think about the economic development of Colombia we have to consider the importance of the biological diversity that this country has and the need to manage it in a sustainable and balanced way in the light of the needs of today's world.
Tuesday, December 15, 2015
7 Reasons Marriage Is On the Decline
After the victory of same-sex marriages being legalized in all 50 states, I came across a quote: "I fully support any marriage that doesn't involve me."
I laughed because it resonated. At age 43, with one marriage and one divorce behind me, with a teenager on the loom, the last thing on my mind is marriage. We've all also noticed young people choosing to opt out of marriage in general and be in committed relationships without the government paperwork instead. Marriage is an institution that is slowly crumbling.
I'm not saying, "Be single; forget marriage; it's not all it's cracked up to be." To each his own and there are many factors that are beautiful in a marriage. But my thoughts are about why single-hood is so appealing to people nowadays and how marriage is increasingly seen as a burden rather than the beautiful bond it used to be.
1) The issue of choice:
As early as decades ago, it was expected that we would all get married, pop out babies and live in a home with the white picket-fence. It's been engrained in our psyches since childhood. But that simply is not an idea that appeals to some people. They may or not marry, but the choice has to be theirs, not because their parents, aunts, grandmothers and society are reminding them that the clock is ticking. Young people are finding immense power in the notion of having a choice.
2) The pressures and losing one's identity that come with marriage:
As independent as you may think you are, marriage is about give and take (and that's how it should be), but some people don't want to lose their independence and give so equally. These people should not be in a marriage because it doesn't work unless it's equal all the way through. Maybe women don't want to cook dinner, go to social functions, befriend their partners' friends. As I mentioned in my last blog on divorce, even in marriage, it's not just a piece of paper; the dynamics of your life change in every area. And once kids come into the picture, there goes even the shred of autonomy you have! Young people today want to live life to the fullest and not be bogged down by anything. After the honeymoon phase, reality hits and they realize that ti's not really what they signed up for.
3) Marrying for the sake of marrying:
When we settle into a marriage because we feel we have found someone "good enough," right away, we're doomed. You should never "settle" in a marriage or marry someone good enough. A marriage is a partnership and you can't have a good one if you have settled with your spouse because the time was right or you had dated for (x) number of years. Down the road, you'll see that you settled, that marriage wan't exactly what you had in mind and by then, it's too late: the destiny of at least two people will have been changed.
4) There are still too many gender roles in a marriage:
This once's so cut and dry that even Cinderella would be running away from putting on the glass slipper. Women are still expected to do most of the parenting aspects, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, going grocery shopping, etc. On top of that, many women work. That's a lot to handle. So before you get into a marriage, make sure you are clear with your would-be spouse on how to break gender roles and handle household duties. (And yes, there are plenty of men who would.)
5) Working women:
Since the feminist movement, this is not a new concept. But women are increasingly reluctant to give up their careers to become housewives or stay-at-home moms, both of which are full-time an thankless jobs. They can also be immensely rewarding, but it is up to a woman to decide if that's what she wants or if it's thrown on her like a cloak after the ceremony. It is never Ok for your spouse to ask you to stop your goals and aspirations just because you are now Mrs. X.
6) Having kids out of wedlock is no longer seen the taboo it once was.
Couples can conceive or adopt a child and raise it together (or alone) without all the other aspects of marriage that come with it. Young people no long care "what people will say" and they're opting to choose to have babies but not husbands.
7) The need for freedom:
Whether as a wife or husband, you need freedom to pursue your interests, hobbies, and social engagements that don't involve your partner. I have seen way too many couples who are non-compatible in this area and I observe what I dub "married for the sake of being married." I revel in my single-hood when I'm around these married couples for extended periods of times. I see how much hostility, blame and just going-through-the-motions-type lives they are leading. Couples in their 40s act and sound like old married couples.
Marriage and growing old and sharing your life with someone can be beautiful. But I see two trends: marrying for all the wrong reasons and then one day regretting the decision and secondly, young people who no longer believe that you need to government and a five-star wedding to deem that you are each other's' soul mates.
If you're blissfully in love and think you are among the 50 percent who will stay together, by all means, go for it. But please have long, meaningful talks (and often) with your would-be spouse about your goals, responsibilities, dealbreakers, keeping your identity, etc. before you decide on the china pattern. A wedding is one night; a marriage, done right, is forever.
I laughed because it resonated. At age 43, with one marriage and one divorce behind me, with a teenager on the loom, the last thing on my mind is marriage. We've all also noticed young people choosing to opt out of marriage in general and be in committed relationships without the government paperwork instead. Marriage is an institution that is slowly crumbling.
I'm not saying, "Be single; forget marriage; it's not all it's cracked up to be." To each his own and there are many factors that are beautiful in a marriage. But my thoughts are about why single-hood is so appealing to people nowadays and how marriage is increasingly seen as a burden rather than the beautiful bond it used to be.
1) The issue of choice:
As early as decades ago, it was expected that we would all get married, pop out babies and live in a home with the white picket-fence. It's been engrained in our psyches since childhood. But that simply is not an idea that appeals to some people. They may or not marry, but the choice has to be theirs, not because their parents, aunts, grandmothers and society are reminding them that the clock is ticking. Young people are finding immense power in the notion of having a choice.
2) The pressures and losing one's identity that come with marriage:
As independent as you may think you are, marriage is about give and take (and that's how it should be), but some people don't want to lose their independence and give so equally. These people should not be in a marriage because it doesn't work unless it's equal all the way through. Maybe women don't want to cook dinner, go to social functions, befriend their partners' friends. As I mentioned in my last blog on divorce, even in marriage, it's not just a piece of paper; the dynamics of your life change in every area. And once kids come into the picture, there goes even the shred of autonomy you have! Young people today want to live life to the fullest and not be bogged down by anything. After the honeymoon phase, reality hits and they realize that ti's not really what they signed up for.
3) Marrying for the sake of marrying:
When we settle into a marriage because we feel we have found someone "good enough," right away, we're doomed. You should never "settle" in a marriage or marry someone good enough. A marriage is a partnership and you can't have a good one if you have settled with your spouse because the time was right or you had dated for (x) number of years. Down the road, you'll see that you settled, that marriage wan't exactly what you had in mind and by then, it's too late: the destiny of at least two people will have been changed.
4) There are still too many gender roles in a marriage:
This once's so cut and dry that even Cinderella would be running away from putting on the glass slipper. Women are still expected to do most of the parenting aspects, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, going grocery shopping, etc. On top of that, many women work. That's a lot to handle. So before you get into a marriage, make sure you are clear with your would-be spouse on how to break gender roles and handle household duties. (And yes, there are plenty of men who would.)
5) Working women:
Since the feminist movement, this is not a new concept. But women are increasingly reluctant to give up their careers to become housewives or stay-at-home moms, both of which are full-time an thankless jobs. They can also be immensely rewarding, but it is up to a woman to decide if that's what she wants or if it's thrown on her like a cloak after the ceremony. It is never Ok for your spouse to ask you to stop your goals and aspirations just because you are now Mrs. X.
6) Having kids out of wedlock is no longer seen the taboo it once was.
Couples can conceive or adopt a child and raise it together (or alone) without all the other aspects of marriage that come with it. Young people no long care "what people will say" and they're opting to choose to have babies but not husbands.
7) The need for freedom:
Whether as a wife or husband, you need freedom to pursue your interests, hobbies, and social engagements that don't involve your partner. I have seen way too many couples who are non-compatible in this area and I observe what I dub "married for the sake of being married." I revel in my single-hood when I'm around these married couples for extended periods of times. I see how much hostility, blame and just going-through-the-motions-type lives they are leading. Couples in their 40s act and sound like old married couples.
Marriage and growing old and sharing your life with someone can be beautiful. But I see two trends: marrying for all the wrong reasons and then one day regretting the decision and secondly, young people who no longer believe that you need to government and a five-star wedding to deem that you are each other's' soul mates.
If you're blissfully in love and think you are among the 50 percent who will stay together, by all means, go for it. But please have long, meaningful talks (and often) with your would-be spouse about your goals, responsibilities, dealbreakers, keeping your identity, etc. before you decide on the china pattern. A wedding is one night; a marriage, done right, is forever.
-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.
Why Your Apology Wasn't Accepted (and How to Make Sure Your Next One Is)
Last week, a client told me that after a three-week stint of tension and arguments, her husband finally apologized for racking up credit card debt without telling her and apologized.
She promptly told him where to go and how to get there.
When talking about her reaction she explained:
As toddlers, the repeated message is to say "you're sorry." As kids, we learn to parrot this phrase on cue whenever we make a mistake and we're led to believe that if we just say we're sorry that everything will be ok in the end. As adults, we learn quickly that just isn't true.
Apologizing and making amends is not as simple as just saying the words. If you've ever apologized and then found yourself trying to figure out why you are still in conflict, chances are that your apology missed the mark:
You Sang the Same Song on a Different Day.
Apologies quickly lose their worth when they aren't quickly followed by a change in behavior. If you're apologizing for the same thing over and over again, it doesn't matter how thoughtfully you apologize. No one is going to believe you until they see a change in you.
Thoughtful apologies should include a statement of intent: "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings. I spoke too quickly and my sarcasm ran away with me. I want to be more careful about what I joke about."
Your apologies will have more credibility when you acknowledge and say out loud that you recognize what needs to change.
The Intensity of Your Apology Didn't Match the Intensity of Your Actions.
That moment when you realize you really messed up can be awful, especially when it wasn't your intent to be hurtful or disrespectful. It's tempting to want to rush to get the whole thing over with and offer a speedy apology.
However, the size of your apology should match or exceed the size of your mistake. You can't apologize for yelling and swearing with the same casual air you offer when you bump into someone. If you really hurt someone, you have to really apologize!
You Apologized Too Soon.
I struggle the most with this one. If I've acted out, been impulsive, or said something hurtful, I typically want to take it back and swallow my words immediately. I've been known to trip over myself offering hurried apologies in an effort to fix the damage as soon as possible. Although well-intentioned on my part, that's really more about me soothing myself from my guilt than by taking care of the other person.
Sometimes people need to stay mad for a while. They can't downshift from hurt to forgiveness in 60 seconds.
Try checking in with the person before launching in to your apology."I feel pretty lousy about what I just said. Can we talk about it?"
If the other person sees that you are respecting their experience by allowing them to have their reaction, they're more likely to listen more openly when they're ready.
You Came to the Conversation With Armor On.
It's so hard not to enter these tough talks defensively.
You're really putting yourself out there by apologizing and it's not unheard of that an injured party will try to make themselves feel better by making you feel worse. Of course you want to protect yourself from the sting that could come if your apology were rejected or from another round of conflict.
However, the only way that apologies work to clear the air is if they are done openly. It's vulnerable to apologize but if you try to avoid vulnerability, the other person will sense that and interpret you to again be caring more about yourself than them.
It Really is Too Little Too Late
Sometimes, you just don't show up in time. If you're going around and round on the same issue or are always fighting about the same thing, sometimes the other person is just done. If you're managing a chronic problem with someone, it helps to acknowledge that you get that it's chronic and how frustrating it must be to have the same conversation over and over again.
Sometimes, there will just be nothing you can do but by staying open, you're keeping the door open for improved communication, understanding, and connection.
She promptly told him where to go and how to get there.
When talking about her reaction she explained:
I just couldn't be bothered. He was so monotone and flat. Sure, he said the words but there was no emotion behind his words, no sense of any real remorse. He didn't seem to get that I felt tricked, betrayed, and lied to. He just thought it was the same old argument about money
As toddlers, the repeated message is to say "you're sorry." As kids, we learn to parrot this phrase on cue whenever we make a mistake and we're led to believe that if we just say we're sorry that everything will be ok in the end. As adults, we learn quickly that just isn't true.
Apologizing and making amends is not as simple as just saying the words. If you've ever apologized and then found yourself trying to figure out why you are still in conflict, chances are that your apology missed the mark:
You Sang the Same Song on a Different Day.
Apologies quickly lose their worth when they aren't quickly followed by a change in behavior. If you're apologizing for the same thing over and over again, it doesn't matter how thoughtfully you apologize. No one is going to believe you until they see a change in you.
Thoughtful apologies should include a statement of intent: "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings. I spoke too quickly and my sarcasm ran away with me. I want to be more careful about what I joke about."
Your apologies will have more credibility when you acknowledge and say out loud that you recognize what needs to change.
The Intensity of Your Apology Didn't Match the Intensity of Your Actions.
That moment when you realize you really messed up can be awful, especially when it wasn't your intent to be hurtful or disrespectful. It's tempting to want to rush to get the whole thing over with and offer a speedy apology.
However, the size of your apology should match or exceed the size of your mistake. You can't apologize for yelling and swearing with the same casual air you offer when you bump into someone. If you really hurt someone, you have to really apologize!
- Be mindful of your body language, posture, word choice and word tone. You want to express empathy and concern.
- State clearly what you know your mistake to be
- Offer some understanding as to why you know it was hurtful or how the other person must have felt or been affected
- Without blaming the injured party, offer some explanation or insight as to what was going on for you when the mistake happened. What went wrong? What had you been thinking or feeling at the time.
- Offer the person an opportunity to share anything they might want to about how they were affected by what happened.
You Apologized Too Soon.
I struggle the most with this one. If I've acted out, been impulsive, or said something hurtful, I typically want to take it back and swallow my words immediately. I've been known to trip over myself offering hurried apologies in an effort to fix the damage as soon as possible. Although well-intentioned on my part, that's really more about me soothing myself from my guilt than by taking care of the other person.
Sometimes people need to stay mad for a while. They can't downshift from hurt to forgiveness in 60 seconds.
Try checking in with the person before launching in to your apology."I feel pretty lousy about what I just said. Can we talk about it?"
If the other person sees that you are respecting their experience by allowing them to have their reaction, they're more likely to listen more openly when they're ready.
You Came to the Conversation With Armor On.
It's so hard not to enter these tough talks defensively.
You're really putting yourself out there by apologizing and it's not unheard of that an injured party will try to make themselves feel better by making you feel worse. Of course you want to protect yourself from the sting that could come if your apology were rejected or from another round of conflict.
However, the only way that apologies work to clear the air is if they are done openly. It's vulnerable to apologize but if you try to avoid vulnerability, the other person will sense that and interpret you to again be caring more about yourself than them.
It Really is Too Little Too Late
Sometimes, you just don't show up in time. If you're going around and round on the same issue or are always fighting about the same thing, sometimes the other person is just done. If you're managing a chronic problem with someone, it helps to acknowledge that you get that it's chronic and how frustrating it must be to have the same conversation over and over again.
Sometimes, there will just be nothing you can do but by staying open, you're keeping the door open for improved communication, understanding, and connection.
-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.
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