The Price Of My Affair

On a recent date, after just enough wine and too many previous dull evenings, I found myself in a very intimate and glaringly honest conversation with my dinner companion, talking about everything other than current events and the weather.

It turns out we had both had affairs, and during our communion we agreed that people don't have affairs because they want sex, they have affairs because they are seeking a relationship or emotional connection. Of course the topic led to whether either of us would do it again, and the resounding answer was no.

Affairs are dreadful and beautiful and painful and exquisite. At least mine was. It evolved from a long friendship at a time in my life when I felt alone and unseen. This person validated my persona when it was getting lost in the thick forest of motherhood, and housewifery, and mid-life, and unfulfilled opportunities and ambitions. My husband didn't do anything wrong or intentionally push me away, but like many couples, we had become set in roles and patterns that didn't necessarily represent who we were as people. Rather than talk about our frustrations and dissatisfactions, we -- or I at least -- sought affirmation in the arms of another man.

Had I known the emotional price I would pay and the scope of collateral damage, I may have chosen differently.

That is not to diminish the feelings and experiences of my love affair. It was for love. I couldn't have done it for any other reason. During my affair that endured for many seasons, there were periods of brightness and happiness and adoration, as well as stretches of angst and despair and emptiness.

When you have a conscience, and an affair, the two become intertwined. When your brain and heart become enmeshed in a thicket of conflicting emotions, there is little space for anything else in your life. I was either blissful or remorseful; enthusiastic or exhausted; in love or in hate. Things fell by the wayside. Dinner didn't get made, spelling didn't get quizzed, dentist appointments were forgotten. Once on top of everything, I was suddenly in control of nothing, especially my emotions. I had to construct a wall around my heart, saving it for the person that I loved and not allowing the person to whom I was married to have access to any part of me, lest I find that I was "cheating" on two people at once. That would have been too overwhelming to process.

I think many people who have affairs find themselves at a point of hopelessness before they seek engagement with someone other than their spouse. The affair offers an alternative to the unhappiness or boredom or daily drudgery that was never alluded to in the process of maturing. We are told to do certain things, seek this path, measure against this criteria, and all will be well, but nobody gives any guidance as to an appropriate reaction or course of action when things aren't going well, especially when we really have nothing to complain about.

Perhaps I was seeking myself by engaging in an affair. The affirmation of me as a beautiful, dynamic, sexual being was a happy byproduct of the relationship, especially after years of being exhausted, shrouded in diaper bags and stained clothing. I could tell myself that I was daring, and passionate, and spontaneous -- identifiers that often get buried in the milieu of playdates, and teacher conferences, and business dinners.

What I didn't comprehend at the time was that I was in fact distancing myself from the personal values that I held most dear -- honesty, reliability, the ability to be fully present in a situation.

There were many who paid a price for my affair, especially my parents and children. My actions had implications that I continue to feel to this day. I am divorced, living peacefully, but not a day goes by during which some action or comment causes me to think how much less complicated or cumbersome the situation would be if only...

That's not the real reason that I would never again have an affair. If I am fortunate enough to cultivate a meaningful connection with another man, I want it to be a relationship in which we wouldn't allow ourselves to get to a point of such dissatisfaction, or unhappiness, or boredom, that we would choose to seek validation in the arms of another.

I want a relationship that values honesty, even if the message is hard to hear, and one where we trust the other person enough to put everything -- the good, the bad and the downright ugly -- on the table for discussion. A tall order indeed, but perhaps...

Also on HuffPost:

Does Positive Thinking Change Lives?

Listen, I love to think positively. I am the most positive thinking person in the world. And I also know, after 30 years of doing this work, that it will not change anyone’s life by itself. Watch this video.   … Continue reading →

The post Does Positive Thinking Change Lives? appeared first on Divorced and Scared No More! by David Essel

What Are the Requirements for Adjustment of Status?

By HG.org - Houston, Texas

The Immigration and Nationality Act allows individuals to change their immigration status while they are in the United States. They may have begun as a nonimmigrant or a temporary alien but now wish to be classified as a permanent immigrant.

And You Call Yourself A Single Parent...

Are you a single parent?

Careful how you answer. Some people are very protective of the term "single parent" and take great offense to those who throw that particular parenting label around all willy nilly.

A few weeks ago I was perusing the comment section on a post that appeared on one of my favorite websites, Scary Mommy. Her site draws some of the most fabulously opinionated people right outta the woodwork. Comment sections are funny. I loathe reading them on pieces I've written, but love them otherwise. Depending on my mood and where I'm at in my cycle, they elicit either giggles or wrath. Sometimes both.

The post in question was a lovely piece written by a woman who shares 50/50 custody of her kids with her ex. It was a well-written essay, straightforward and blissfully to-the-point. The comment section on this one was pretty even-keeled, almost completely full of support and empathy. Lots of camaraderie from women who are in this same custody situation, others who are about to be, and some from people who grew up as 50/50 kids.

And then, there was this one:



Now, I get this person's point... to a point. If there were such a thing as a Parent Label Police, they might get twitchy if someone who shares custody of their angels calls what they're doing "single parenting." But can you still call yourself a single parent? You're single, right? And you're a parent, correct? Then it seems to be perfectly legit to call yourself a single parent.

Not so fast, people. Not just any average Joe or Jody gets to call themselves a single parent. Just ask this person:



Ahhh. Okay. So those who have 100 percent custody are the only ones allowed to call themselves single parents. Got it. (At this point I removed the tiny silver hoops from my ears, handed them to my dog and said, 'Shit is about to get real, Walter. Hold these.')

Only, no.

Nope. I don't agree. And I had some company in the NOPE DON'T AGREE camp:



I might have been PMSing. And I might also love a good 16 Candles reference.

So, Jamie and I both felt the same way, along with a couple others. And then, this:



This is where I had to leave the conversation. Not only because she'd already used two of my least favorite phrases, "just sayin" and "sorry not sorry", and I was concerned that her next move would be telling someone they'd "won the internet". Also, because I wanted to reply to Alison and really lay it out there for her. I knew my reply would be defensive and bitchy, and I'd already used up my one Long Duck Dong quote.

I wanted to let Alison, and anyone else who gets possessive and pissy about what someone else chooses to call themselves know, that I wasn't about to suck anything up. Sorry not sorry? Please.

I understand where people who think like this are coming from. They are most likely calling in from Planet Literal and think that if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and sounds like a duck, it's most likely a duck. They believe that unless you are really, truly a SINGLE parent, meaning that your child has no other parent who exists on the earth, you cannot claim that title. My friends Rachael and Nancy, both widows? Yes. They are single parents.

But guess what? So am I. And I will continue to call myself a single parent until the day comes when I'm no longer single (please, nobody hold your breath). Why? You know I'm going to tell you why, right?

I'm a single parent because when I am actively participating in this thing called parenting, I do it alone. Oh, I have a village, no doubt. There are friends and teachers and coaches and extended family involved from time to time. But the nitty gritty of it? The sometimes mind-numbing, emotionally taxing, daily-grind things? I do those all by myself. And have done so, all by myself, since the father of my children went out for coffee and signed a lease on an apartment ten years ago.

Even back in the good ol' days when the kids were with their father during his allotted parenting time (every other weekend and two dinners per week...per his request, so haters zip it) , I was a single parent. Yes, he was somewhat active and involved, but I WAS A SINGLE PARENT. When his interest in parenting our kids began to wane, and their visits with him dwindled down to what they are now (six hours on Christmas, with a few random outings here and there throughout the year), there was no question about it. I was a single parent.

My situation is different from some of yours. Some of you don't know where the other parent lives, or even if they are still living. Some of you do the 50/50 split. Some of you see your kids on the weekends. Some of you see them even less than that, for a myriad of reasons. But here's the deal: all of you, whether you're surrounded by kids on the daily or you Skype with them before bedtime a few nights a week... if you're single, and you're a parent, YOU ARE A SINGLE PARENT.

I don't understand why someone would get all territorial and nutty about something as silly as a label, to the extent that they make a public proclamation about who has the rights to it. It's not like the Single Parent Commission is going door to door, checking out the hours you've logged solo parenting and getting verification that the person you procreated with is either dead and buried or off the grid. What's next? The Single Parent Olympics, wherein we all try to prove that we are the singlest parent of all? I can see it now:

And here we have Jenny from the United States. She's been down with the flu for the past three days when BOOM young William announces that his backpack broke and he needs a new one by tomorrow. She's been training her whole life for this moment, folks, and we get to witness her in all of her single parenting glory. There she goes, bathed in fever-sweat and the funk of sickness, stumbling into Dick's Sporting Goods at 8:00 p.m. on a school night. OOOOH did you see that? That indifferent employee sent Jenny and her son to the wrong area of the store to find the elusive drawstring backpack. Folks, we apologize for the salty language you may have heard. This is a live event.

You know why I dragged my sweaty, feverish, aching body into a sporting goods store that night? Because I do this parenting thing on my own. Because my kid's backpack finally broke (we'd made do by tying one of the broken straps for a while because that's just how we roll here) and he needed a new one. Because I couldn't stay wrapped up in my smelly cocoon of blankets, taking shots of Delsym and having weird, acid-trippy dreams. There was no other parent at home to pick up the slack, no husband or partner to pat my moist forehead and coo to me, "You stay here and sleep. I'll take him to the store for a new backpack." (Well, actually there was, and it was Mayhem from the Allstate commercials. But that might have been one of those aforementioned trippy dreams.)

I did it because I'm William's mom. I'm his parent. Does he have another parent? Yes, he does. In fact, his other parent lives about two miles away. I actually asked my boy to call this other parent and ask if he'd pick up the slack this time, but William protested and since it was getting late I just did as I have done for all these years -- I parented. He took advantage of my flu-fog and managed to wrangle a $30.00 pair of Nike shorts out of the deal too. Young William has learned a thing or two, it appears.

I'm going to put a cap on my rant now. I don't care what you call yourself. JazzHands McGee Mom? Perfect. PeterPickledPepper Parent? Yay! Solo parent, co-parent, parallel parent, partnered parent, Netflix parent, yada yada yada. It's not like we're going to have this crap engraved on our tombstones. Feeling threatened and trying to out-single other parents who are in this same boat does nothing for our so-called cause.

No matter what your status as a parent is -- whether you're happily married, kinda-happily married, partnered up without the paperwork, or like me, doing it on your own -- there is really just one simple objective: to do the best you can. I think that's something we can all agree on, right?

"A parent by any other name would smell as tired." William Shakespeare (sort of)

Jennifer Ball blogs about divorce, single parenting, dating after 40 and other hilarious topics at The Happy Hausfrau.

The 'Ours' Baby: Great Expectations

It's a terrible name I know. No one is more cognizant of labels than I am. In one pronoun we have brought to light everything we are trying to downplay. You have yours. I have mine, but we have no ours. Sure, what's mine is yours and what's yours is mine, but nothing changes the cold hard facts. She has your ex's smile and your ears. He has my face and his father's hair. People say our children from other marriages look alike, but we know the truth. When that woman at the mall asked me if they were twins, I responded sarcastically: "Nope. They aren't even related." It sounded nasty coming out of my mouth, and I embarrassed her for no reason. My bitter, "first family grief" rearing its ugly head. So I find myself fantasizing about the "ours" baby constantly, and there is no other term more fitting.

I had a dream that my husband and I had a child together, but in the dream I mistakenly sent a text to my ex-husband to see if he would be opposed to me signing the child (the one I had with my current husband) up for hockey. Hockey was the strangest part of the dream because that sport has never been on my radar. I wasn't surprised at all that I had accidentally checked with my ex about the goings on of a child that was not his. I figured it was inevitable. Horrible, but inevitable. I realized what I had done as soon as I hit send. Even in my dream I questioned why they have not invented an immediate "unsend" option. There was a sensation of anger from my current husband, hilarity from my ex-husband who chose to rub it in, and terror from me. We ran around circling those emotions to no end, until the dream drifted off to something unrelated.

It's true, I don't know what it's like to plan a vacation without checking with an ex to ensure there are no scheduling conflicts. I can't imagine a reality where I don't wonder if I send them off to school in their best shoes, if those shoes will return after the weekend. I can't fathom a holiday that time with my child is not strategically scheduled between two parents. You mean every year Ours Baby will wake up here on Christmas morning? Who will I communicate with about school photos? Who will I argue with about the right to buy the dress for the dance? That entire way of life is inconceivable to me.

But that is not the only reason I dream about the "ours" baby. The "ours" baby is a shot at doing it the right way, the way families are supposed to be created. Not by accident or, in my case, by argument. Ours Baby is a shot at experiencing something life changing and magical, with a loving and supportive partner. I feel I was robbed of this experience last time. I daydream about my husband talking to my belly, helping me with coco butter, and maybe even a foot massage. That's not the kind of marriage I had last time. I think about whispering to him, "That's your baby growing inside me." I envision him telling everyone proudly that WE are expecting. I imagine planning this time, sappy maternity photos that include the whole family, a real nursery. We have two beautiful, perfect children from previous marriages, but you weren't with me in the hospital. I long to share that experience with my husband whom I love more than words. It's strange for us to share the rest of our lives together, so many amazing moments, and to have shared that pivotal event only with our exes.

Ours Baby is our second chance to bring children into this world smack dab into a home that is overflowing with love and bliss. We do worry about how it will affect the the existing children. Will they sense Ours Baby's difference? What will my stepdaughter feel when she realizes that half the time she is not here, but Ours Baby never leaves us? What will my son think when he sees that his half brother has two parents, both sides of their DNA, under one roof? Will the wonderfulness of the existence of the "ours" baby overshadow the uniqueness of the situation? I hope so. We want the siblings to share in the joy and excitement, but we are not blind to how the new baby's arrival might make them feel. In the end, we know they will be thrilled to have a new brother or sister. Once Ours Baby is more than a daydream, we agreed we would let the children choose middle names. We are fully prepared for a baby named Johnathan Creeper Booty Leiva or Stephanie Minecraft Fart Leiva. Perhaps, when Ours Baby is more of a reality, we'll work in a stipulation about the middle name having to come from a real baby book.

Can Ours Baby live up to the hype? Are we putting too much pressure on you, nonexistent Ours Baby? You have to know that I want you, regardless of the experiences you bring that I long for. I want you the same way every happy couple wants a baby together, plus a million other reasons that both excite and frighten me.

If Life Doesn’t Kill Me, Does Death Make Me Strong?”

Some of my friends have made it Others died trying   But we all figured out Life is death defying Either you get with the program Seal or Sever scar tissues from strife Either way we are programmed to Detach … Continue reading →

The post If Life Doesn’t Kill Me, Does Death Make Me Strong?” appeared first on Divorced and Scared No More! by Tony

The Divorce Games: Finding Your Inner Adult

Recently, I was talking with an equally sarcastic friend about our strategies to put the fun back in dysfunction. A quick Google search revealed our seemingly brilliant, original ideas weren't original at all.

There are multiple sites offering everything from a candle that smells like freshly signed divorce papers to a full line of divorce party products for the recently unknotted. I love both because the concept of live, laugh, love completely falls apart if you leave out the middle. Laughter truly is amazing therapy.

Our idea (or so we thought) was a board game about divorce. Like everything else I have fantasized would make a mint, it's been done.

Hold up, player! Before you get your panties all in a bunch, I'm not trying to belittle the pain of divorce or disrespect the institution of marriage. I've been there -- twice.

It's not considered irreverent in the single world to talk about dating as a game full of power plays and manipulation; refer to marriage that way and all of a sudden you are unraveling the fabric of America.

I'm just saying the results of some of our life choices often seem as random as the outcome of a casino game. We may analyze it to death, but ultimately we are all trying our best to beat the odds.

Most of us who were in it to win it tried everything imaginable to increase our chances of hitting the happily ever after marital jackpot. Maybe it was marriage counseling, pre and post; perhaps you read all of the marriage advice books and checked every listicle to test the relationship against some criteria for long haul success.

You may have opted for marriage boot camp, completed a couples retreat, or practiced people who pray together stay together. Maybe you went the nontraditional route and consulted the Ouija board or a spellcaster. That's none of my business.

Surely there must be some magic elixir that explains why some people make it and some don't? Trying to figure that out is as productive as analyzing a slot machine. In reality, some things in life feel purely random. You can train hard, play by the rules and still lose.

As a lover of tangled tangents, reading about games and the power of numbers made me think of the huge expectations we often assign to little phrases or words with eight tiny, unsuspecting letters -- I love you. Marriage. Children.

But what happens when you spin and end up with the unlucky 13 puzzle to solve? I want a divorce. Congrats, you're the next contestant on... Wheel. Of. Misfortune!

How about a round of emotional scrabble? That war of words is as much fun as a root canal. One person goes vertical, the other horizontal; someone throws in a diagonal trying to build off what you said previously; zero points and no one wins.

If your main issue as a couple is communication, you may also play a few rounds of marital charades. I ended up acting like a mentally unstable mime as I struggled for months trying to explain how I was feeling.

Of course none of it really feels like a game. It's your life.

In the bestselling book Games People Play: The Psychology of Human Relationships, psychiatrist Eric Berne describes three ego states -- the Parent, the Adult and the Child. When people play mind games, the winner is the person that returns to the adult ego-state first. In fact, if two people are in adult mode, game over. You both win. So do your children.

How often do divorced couples complain that it felt like one member of the dynamic duo was the parent and the other was a child? That's playbook page one for conflict. Game on.

In retrospect, I recall multiple moments my ex-husband and I were switching back and forth between the parent and child ego modes. I was calm on the outside; inside I was having a two-year-old style temper tantrum. I also remember talking to the father of my children like he was 4 (and yes, sometimes he was acting like it).

Our co-dependent style marriage finally evolved after the divorce to successful co-parenting and friendship. It isn't about good sportsmanship--that's for game playing. Instead, it's a constant struggle to nurture the emotional intelligence we both need to raise happy children.

Does it work 100 percent of the time? Nope -- but we both suit up and show up. The word parent is most powerful as a verb.

When it comes to relationships, I've finally learned to say: I am not your child. I am not your parent. I'm an adult willing to consider a relationship with another adult -- game free.

Maybe the payoff for the divorce games isn't so random after all... life lessons that help us evolve are priceless.

Military divorce: What Service Members Need To Know

There are a number of videos that have been designed to articulate the thoughts of a good representation while filing a military divorce. But not every video offers a guideline that's useful. A video done by Timothy Roof, a practicing attorney near the largest Naval Base in the world, demonstrates the experience that this he has acquired while dealing with the most complicated issues in military divorce. It is a very clear video analyzing the most critical details that any member of the military ought to put in mind while considering filing a divorce in any court of law.

• Spouses support

In the video, Mr. Roof discusses some important aspects of a military divorce that fall under the UCMJ. According the UCMJ, your spouse may be entitled to up to one-third of your BAH and Base Pay. Your command will decide the amount if no court action is taken to establish support. The military must honor this Court Order while civilian court Order will almost always be lower than the military regulation. Mr. Roof has acquired a ton of experience in his career dealing with military issue and knows what he's talking about.

• Children support

Timothy Roof, a having practiced Divorce Law for close to 20 years in Norfolk and Virginia Beach, is an Attorney capable of satisfactory representation you throughout the process of filing your military divorce. In a military divorce, your children are also entitled to support under the UCMJ in addition to your spouse. If you have a spouse and kids, the maximum support you can pay is three-fifths of your BAH and Base Pay. This can also be replaced by a Civilian Court Order.

• Retirement in a military divorce

In the video, you will know your military retirement may be subject to division with your spouse. The amount your spouse is entitled to depends on how long your spouse is married to you while you are in the military. How your spouse is paid is also dependent on how long you are married. There may be ways to keep your retirement as well.

• Owned assets

Assets such as cars, houses, investments, IRA's and other retirement plans may also be subject to division with your spouse. It depends on when they were acquired and who will keep them.

• Children custody

Regarding your kids, the video sheds a lot of light on how the courts will evaluate your deployment schedule, who has primarily cared for the children, and which parent is best placed to take care of the children. He puts it clear that the court will consider the age of your kids prior to making this decision. Surprisingly, Mr. Roof ascertains that the service member doesn't need to be in the US to get help or get things started.

When you watch this video, you will understand the unique considerations in the military divorce that often make divorce quite challenging for the members of the military and their spouses. It is, therefore, paramount to work with an experienced attorney. One who understands all the military needs and can create accommodations for military issues in order to resolve the peculiar conflicts that can arise throughout the course of the divorce. Timothy Roof is just that!

For more detailed information, click on the link below to reach his website or give his office a call to set up a no-obligation consultation appointment at the number below.

Please don’t hesitate to contact us. Either call the number below, or fill out this form and we will get back to
you promptly.

(757) 497 – 7448

Pembroke One

Suite 443

Virginia Beach, VA 23456

Military divorce: What Service Members Need To Know

There are a number of videos that have been designed to articulate the thoughts of a good representation while filing a military divorce. But not every video offers a guideline that's useful. A video done by Timothy Roof, a practicing attorney near the largest Naval Base in the world, demonstrates the experience that this he has acquired while dealing with the most complicated issues in military divorce. It is a very clear video analyzing the most critical details that any member of the military ought to put in mind while considering filing a divorce in any court of law.

• Spouses support

In the video, Mr. Roof discusses some important aspects of a military divorce that fall under the UCMJ. According the UCMJ, your spouse may be entitled to up to one-third of your BAH and Base Pay. Your command will decide the amount if no court action is taken to establish support. The military must honor this Court Order while civilian court Order will almost always be lower than the military regulation. Mr. Roof has acquired a ton of experience in his career dealing with military issue and knows what he's talking about.

• Children support

Timothy Roof, a having practiced Divorce Law for close to 20 years in Norfolk and Virginia Beach, is an Attorney capable of satisfactory representation you throughout the process of filing your military divorce. In a military divorce, your children are also entitled to support under the UCMJ in addition to your spouse. If you have a spouse and kids, the maximum support you can pay is three-fifths of your BAH and Base Pay. This can also be replaced by a Civilian Court Order.

• Retirement in a military divorce

In the video, you will know your military retirement may be subject to division with your spouse. The amount your spouse is entitled to depends on how long your spouse is married to you while you are in the military. How your spouse is paid is also dependent on how long you are married. There may be ways to keep your retirement as well.

• Owned assets

Assets such as cars, houses, investments, IRA's and other retirement plans may also be subject to division with your spouse. It depends on when they were acquired and who will keep them.

• Children custody

Regarding your kids, the video sheds a lot of light on how the courts will evaluate your deployment schedule, who has primarily cared for the children, and which parent is best placed to take care of the children. He puts it clear that the court will consider the age of your kids prior to making this decision. Surprisingly, Mr. Roof ascertains that the service member doesn't need to be in the US to get help or get things started.

When you watch this video, you will understand the unique considerations in the military divorce that often make divorce quite challenging for the members of the military and their spouses. It is, therefore, paramount to work with an experienced attorney. One who understands all the military needs and can create accommodations for military issues in order to resolve the peculiar conflicts that can arise throughout the course of the divorce. Timothy Roof is just that!

For more detailed information, click on the link below to reach his website or give his office a call to set up a no-obligation consultation appointment at the number below.

Please don’t hesitate to contact us. Either call the number below, or fill out this form and we will get back to
you promptly.

(757) 497 – 7448

Pembroke One

Suite 443

Virginia Beach, VA 23456

Military divorce: What Service Members Need To Know

There are a number of videos that have been designed to articulate the thoughts of a good representation while filing a military divorce. But not every video offers a guideline that's useful. A video done by Timothy Roof, a practicing attorney near the largest Naval Base in the world, demonstrates the experience that this he has acquired while dealing with the most complicated issues in military divorce. It is a very clear video analyzing the most critical details that any member of the 
military ought to put in mind while considering filing a divorce in any court of law. 

• Spouses support

In the video, Mr. Roof discusses some important aspects of a military divorce that fall under the UCMJ. According the UCMJ, your spouse may be entitled to up to one-third of your BAH and Base Pay. Your command will decide the amount if no court action is taken to establish support. The military must honor this Court Order while civilian court Order will almost always be lower than the military regulation. Mr. Roof has acquired a ton of experience in his career dealing with military issue and knows what he's talking about.

• Children support

Timothy Roof, a having practiced Divorce Law for close to 20 years in Norfolk and Virginia Beach, is an Attorney capable of satisfactory representation you throughout the process of filing your military divorce. In a military divorce, your children are also entitled to support under the UCMJ in addition to your spouse. If you have a spouse and kids, the maximum support you can pay is three-fifths of your BAH and Base Pay. This can also be replaced by a Civilian Court Order.

• Retirement in a military divorce

In the video, you will know your military retirement may be subject to division with your spouse. The amount your spouse is entitled to depends on how long your spouse is married to you while you are in the military. How your spouse is paid is also dependent on how long you are married. There may be ways to keep your retirement as well.

• Owned assets

Assets such as cars, houses, investments, IRA's and other retirement plans may also be subject to division with your spouse. It depends on when they were acquired and who will keep them.

• Children custody

Regarding your kids, the video sheds a lot of light on how the courts will evaluate your deployment schedule, who has primarily cared for the children, and which parent is best placed to take care of the children. He puts it clear that the court will consider the age of your kids prior to making this decision. Surprisingly, Mr. Roof ascertains that the service member doesn't need to be in the US to get help or get things started.

When you watch this video, you will understand the unique considerations in the military divorce that often make divorce quite challenging for the members of the military and their spouses. It is, therefore, paramount to work with an experienced attorney. One who understands all the military needs and can create accommodations for military issues in order to resolve the peculiar conflicts that can arise throughout the course of the divorce. Timothy Roof is just that!

For more detailed information, click on the link below to reach his website or give his office a call to set up a no-obligation consultation appointment at the number below.

Please don’t hesitate to contact us.  Either call the number below, or fill out this form and we will get back to
you promptly.

(757) 497 – 7448

Pembroke One

Suite 443

Virginia Beach, VA 23456